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If superior creatures from space ever visit earth, the first question they will ask, in order to assess the level of our civilization, is: ‘Have they discovered evolution yet?’ – Richard Dawkins, The Selfish Gene.

Recently, I hooked up on this one game called Spore(2008) developed by Maxis and licensed by Electronic Arts. It’s somewhat an interesting yet simple simulation game where you play as a (fully player-customized) creature starting as a single(herbivorous or carnivorous) cell that slowly climb up evolution ladder to be a more complex creature then ultimately embark on your journey to conquer galaxy.

I really hate meme, but I’ve quote Prof. Richard Dawkins above, so…

The game’s scientific accuracy, as pointed out by the guys at Wikipedia, might leave much to be desired. But, in my opinion, the gameplay is fun and easy to understand, the premise is creative and easy to swallow, and ultimately, the ability to completely customize your creature that is only limited by your own imagination make this game, all in all, pretty educating.

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It might not look much, but Phallicantropus floppitus is on the very top of evolution ladder. (Did I say that you can fully customized your creature? Because, you totally can.)

In the game, if you play it from the cell stage, first thing you see is a cut scene of a meteor falling to the planet of your choice. Later, said meteor cracks open and reveal your cell in to the world. Now your objective is to grow bigger and collect DNAs of different parts that you can later upgrade your body with, by killing another creature or stumbling into some random meteor by chance, just exactly like how evolution happens in real world.

By the way, just before you play the game, that is, when you choose your planet, you’ll be prompted to choose whether you want your cell to be herbivore or carnivore. And I will bet that most people will choose carnivore over herbivore every time. Why so? Well, aside from the obvious reason being carnivore is simply more awesome(I’m pretty sure that none of us, if given the chance to choose what we will be reincarnated as, will choose lame ass cow or obese manatee, those guys definitely got the short stick at reincarnation lot), we know for a fact that carnivores always placed higher at the food chain than their grass-munching counterparts by the virtue that carnivores eat their goddamned grass-munching asses.

Okay, now let’s talk about evolution.

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And the much known fact about how Spore actually isn’t that far off in the scientific accuracy department.

In my country, theory of evolution is being taught at mandatory school level. But even that being the case, I know several people who do not actually believe in it because it’s too “ridiculous”. Once in a blue moon, I got in a long-winded debate with them about this in a bar. We’d explain our well crafted arguments, throw some rhetorical questions, slam some goddamned table, ogle some fine waitresses’ ass, got derailed from the arguments and somehow it always ended up talking me down about how I should just get laid already and later I’d go home feeling dejected and then I cry into my hug pillow with anime preteen girl picture on it.

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Her name is Kaname Madoka, and we’ve been married for about three years now

So this time, without the interference of alcohol and eye-catching body parts of bar waitresses(their uniform really emphasis their boobs and hip), and while hugging my beloved Madoka pillow, I want to indulge in my sore loser personality in the internet once again.

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I might be a sore loser, but I’m a professional sore loser.

Before I write this article, I went around asking my friends whether they believe in the theory of evolution or not. Most of them (I asked, like, three people? I don’t have that many friends, I’m sorry.) said that they don’t believe in theory of evolution even though just like I’ve said earlier that theory of evolution is taught in school. Needless to say that they are religious person(though, only one of them is pious, I’ve rarely saw the other two pray) but most people(if not all) in my country are religious by birth, so that’s irrelevant. The funny thing is, two professors who taught me in school about the theory of evolution(and by extension, believe in it) are really pious person, so you can’t say that this is a case of religious ignorance.

Looking at it from a laymen’s perspective, belief in evolution is a rather remarkable phenomenon since it lacks any observable scientific evidence(because, it’s not like we’re seeing animals that are evolving right before our eyes or something, right? WRONG.), but if you really want to know the definite proof of the Theory of Evolution, you have to look no further than your own nipples(if you’re a dude, if you’re a dudette please don’t flash them to anyone except your spouse and in the comfort of your bedroom).

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Shit’s like, the number one cause of traffic accident or something.

Maybe I should make more elaborate explanation on this argument, lest I get that weird stare from all of those imaginary readers of this blog.

Now, I want you all to take a good look of your nipples. Have you feel weird yet? You freaks. If you have feel weird but still don’t get my point, try this, now look at the corner of your eyes that is close to your nose, notice something weird? And then, there are parts of your body that while you can’t see directly, still doesn’t make any sense in the context of your daily life or Genesis. Case in point: Appendix, Wisdom teeth, Mammary glands in male mammals, Coccyx(Tailbone in human), Erector pili(the muscle that makes your hair stand up when you have goose bumps) and most of hair in human body(yes, you can see your body hair, shut up!). Ask yourself if Adam and Eve have all these vestigial organs and if so, why do they have them? Why do we have them now?

Those are the remnant of our ancestor, plain and simple. Now, for most people who don’t believe in Theory of Evolution, the idea that we came from ape-like ancestor is insulting at the very least. But it really isn’t even touching the insulting part. You see, while our direct ancestor are ape-men, if you go back sufficiently farther you’ll find that before we became ape-like we looked more like a rodent, go back much further, you’ll find fish-lizard, yet further, worms. Ad infinitum ‘till you find single-celled micro-organism as our ancestor. Yes, YOU are, and by extension, humanity and all of it’s glory came from a damn protozoa. Is there any more humbling epiphany than that? I don’t know. Maybe there are several more. But that completely missed the point I’m gonna make. I don’t even know why I brought it up.

Let’s backtrack a bit, because I kind of forgot what point I was going to make.

Is it really possible that complex creature like ourselves actually came from simple microorganism? Then, if we’re evolved from them, why are those lesser creature still around to this day? In short, if we came from monkey, why are those still around today?

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if you find yourself asking that question, you really don’t deserve a monkey butler. And, get out of here!

Though, since I still can’t answer that question, I’ll end this post right here for now while I try to find the answer. There’ll be another post about Theory of Evolution in the future, so look forward to it!

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Gauguin

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